Sometimes Being A Mother Means You Have To Put Your Dreams On Hold

Having children has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. Despite all the snot, laundry, and meal prep, it gives me a purpose greater than myself. I know that kids are not for everyone, and I give the utmost respect to those people who don’t want to have them. I get it, even though I have three of my own.

Being a parent–at least a good one–means that the life you have envisioned for yourself often changes drastically. And this cannot be any truer for a woman who is destined to rear the children.

Although there are stay-at-home dads, which I personally think is super cool, often times it’s the women who are left to hold down the fort and keep the kids alive while Daddy is off at work.

But what about all the dreams you had for your life, the ones that were for you, the ones like becoming successful or traveling the world? Those dreams get put on pause, and for those of us who don’t have the emotional support, financial means or the courage to pursue them once again, they often fade away.

For me, when this happened, it became a major problem. My dream was to combine a passion for something I loved with the opportunity to earn a decent living. I grew up with a single mother who worked her ass off to provide for me and a younger brother and I have a burning desire inside of me to earn money. I know that my husband loves me, and perhaps I’m a little jaded given my past, but I want to know that if something happened I could provide for myself. For me, I need that mental security.

I can say for myself that finding my dream again has made me a better mother. Not only because I am earning and I can help my husband to pay for things which helps to alleviate his stress, but because I get to reignite those passions and those dreams that I locked away for years when I was deep in diaper mode and playdates. I would say that I am lucky but that really isn’t the case. I worked tirelessly to get to the point that I am at in my career. I sacrificed so much of myself to get here. I earned this dream that I am now getting to live.

For me, that was my dream. Everyone has their own. Sure, I’d love to travel. That would really fantastic, but that will have to wait till I am much older and my kids are grown. They need me too much now. I can’t part with them without worry. And besides, all those beautiful places will be there in another 10 to 20 years. It can wait. For now, I am perfectly happy with this dream.

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moodswingmama

I am a wife, mother, and Editor-in-Chief of a handful of major pet publications. Check out my blog moodswingmama.com to learn more about my adventures in marriage, parenting, being a working mother, and self-acceptance.

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